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Q. When should the music start?
A. The music should start when the first guest arrives at the party.
Music relaxes your guests and lets them know they are welcome.
Q. Should I have a receiving line?
A. Receiving lines are most common for daytime and late afternoon ceremonies. Count on spending at least 15 seconds with each guest.
If you have 300 guests, you will be receiving for 75 minutes (an hour and 15 minutes). Make sure you allow enough time for you to enjoy your own reception.
Q. What is a bridal dance?
A. The bridal dance is the first dance on the dance floor during the reception. It expresses, in movement, the combining of two families.
(1) For the first time ever the couple is introduced to the gathering with their married names. One couple dancing.
(2) Secondly, the father of the bride cuts in on the bride, and the groom goes to ask the mother of the bride to dance. Two couples dancing.
(3)Thirdly, the father of the groom cuts in on the bride, the father and mother of the bride dance together, and the groom asks his mother to dance. Three couples dancing.
The bridesmaids and groomsmen are often invited to join the dance, further expressing the extended family.
When the bride and groom are reunited, the dance can be finished.
Q. Should the bridal party be announced prior to the first dance?
A. Announcing the bridal party allows your guests to get to know who the “major players” are. Much of this introduction has already been accomplished if you have had a rehearsal dinner the night before.
Introduction is recommended if you think it would be helpful to the majority of your guests.
Q. What song should be played?
A. Any song that is special to the bride and groom.
Q. What if we don’t have a special song?
A. Here are 14 beautiful songs that are recommended:
• As Time Goes By (Billie Holliday)
• At Last (Etta James)
• How Sweet It Is to Be Loved By You (James Taylor)
• I Only Have Eyes for You (The Flamingos)
• It Had to Be You (Rod Stewart, Frank Sinatra)
• L.O.V.E. (John Pizzarelli, Natalie Cole)
• Love is Here to Stay (Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong)
• Night and Day (Frank Sinatra)
• Someone Like You (Vanessa Williams, Van Morrison)
• Someone to Watch Over Me (Blossom Dearie, Ella Fitzgerald)
• The Best Is Yet to Come (Tony Bennett)
• The Way You Look Tonight (Rod Stewart, Frank Sinatra)
• Unforgettable (Nat King Cole)
• What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)
Q. How can I be sure the band plays songs that I want?
A. There should be a complete song list from which you can choose titles. If there are special requests, the bandleader should do his or her best to accommodate you. Everyone has songs that must be played. Agree with your bandleader ahead of time. Also everyone has a song or two that makes them gag. Please mention them to your bandleader as well. My least favorite is “Feelings”.
Q. Should the band be on a stage?
A. Yes, it promotes dancing and defines the space for the comfort of your guests and the performers. The look is important. It should not look like a rock concert. Recommended stage height is 8 inches.
Q. What should the band wear?
A. Tuxedo unless you have a special theme in mind. If a band has to rent tuxedos, you are talking to the wrong band.
Q. Should we take dance lessons?
A. 95% of the people that get married just creatively sway back and forth. If you can do fancier steps, without effort, by all means do so.
Getting married is a complicated task. Trying to remember recently learned dance steps can be awkward. More importantly, it can interfere with the enjoyment of your own event. Another aspect of this is that the first dance is an important photo opportunity. Your best candid photos can originate here. Your photographer may have to help a couple pose during the dance.
Q. Live music or a D.J.?
A. Nothing compares to an excellent dance orchestra. However, a good D.J. is much better than a mediocre band. The decision is yours.
Q. How do I audition a group?
A. Unless you see a band performing at a wedding, it is impossible.
Word of mouth by satisfied clients is your best bet. If a band is playing in a bar, they have no business at your reception. Hire a professional specialist. Ask for references. Listen to a demo tape or CD. Playing weddings is a special talent that most musicians do not have.
Q. Should we have a wedding coordinator?
A. If a wedding coordinator compliments your vision of a perfect party, yes. A coordinator can focus on details while you keep your eye on the big picture. Giving a party can be very stressful. It’s a risk. A coordinator should share your vision and make your feel great from the first meeting onward.
Q. When should the cake be cut?
A. Sometime after cocktails and before your older guests might want to leave.
Q. When should the first dance take place?
A. Sometime during dinner when all your guests can pay attention to you without distraction.
Q. When should I stop worrying?
A. Tuesday before the wedding.
Q. When should I throw my bouquet?
A. Most brides choose to throw the bouquet immediately before making their exit. It can be done any time during the reception that compliments the flow of the evening.
Q. When should my groom throw the garter?
A. Many brides today choose not to throw the garter. It is up to the bride and groom to decide. Please note: it is not amusing for the musicians to play the theme from “the Stripper”. Graciously decline if your bandleader offers this. The bouquet is the main event prior to exit.
Q. Should the band get everyone dancing from the start?
A. A wedding reception may be the only time some family members are able to meet other family members. The music should be lively but soft for cocktails. It should allow for normal conversation during dinner. Later in the evening the music should get everyone on the dance floor.
(The jungle drums must beat at every successful party. The mark of a good orchestra is to know when that time should be.)
Q. Should I use a videographer?
A. Yes, if they can show you examples of their work. Notice if brides and their guests appear like deer in headlights. A good videographer should not be intrusive at all.
Q. Should I leave the party in my dress or change clothes before the exit?
A. Leaving in your dress is a better photo-opportunity. Changing clothes is a practical consideration. When you arrive at your lodgings for the night, will it be a hassle if you’re still in your dress e.g. hotel lobby at 1:00am?
Q. Should the band take breaks?
A. No.
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